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Stephen King once wrote: 'Time takes it all, whether you want it to or not. Time takes it all, time bears it away.. and in the end.. there is only darkness. Sometimes we find others in that darkness, and sometime we lose them there again.'

I'm a failure.. and im ugly and stupid... i know i do not have the looks and such,which i get it... but even ugly betty is way smarter and articulate than i am. To be ugly is one thing... but to be ignorant and stupid is another... I'm never able to do things right... im constantly procrastinating , struggling to face my actions...   and i always make mistakes and always am running away from the problems and always afraid of things... often i ask my mum, y i was born without guts. I'm so freaking afraid of people judging me all the time. And I can't blame other people for hating me because I really hate myself for being the way i am. I'm a gd for nothing. If i have the courage, I'd have been like Melissa Teo (the 18yr old girl who jumped to her death recently).  I know I'm suicidal but i have yet to find the courage to be gone forever, the thoughts of it really seem tempting... to end things / life once and for all.. Yet even when i tell myself that li'fé's not worth living , at the same time my conscience is telling me that im a coward for not being able to face what im going through... You see, how easy to think of dying and yet when it comes to the real deal... the cowardness in me still am the stronger one... you may wonder... if you are suicidal, then what are you still doing here?  To be gone forever.. will i have the courage to end things...